There are some losses you grieve, a few incidents you
rejoice and a number of feelings you get high on. The culture of a city can
make you feel all of these things. Of course, it is affected by the nature of
people, weather, lifestyle, or even the traffic of the city.
Everything is incomplete till it all falls into place.
When I was unhappy with my life, I asked myself, “Which part of my life is
falling out?” I struggled to change and adapt, over and over again, till one
day, I knew that the worst I could eliminate given my limited powers against
that of life and fate is over. I grieved, rejoiced and got high. Of course, it
was dependent on the mood I woke up with - Some days, feeling like shit and others,
looking forward to my work.
Yes, I love my job. One of the few things that I’m glad
about is that at present, I love what I do. It involves waking up really early
but it’s a job I never knew I wanted so bad till I got it. I never dreamed of
becoming a writer when I was a child. It just happened despite of all the other
things that I tried. Travelling in local trains and buses gave me an actual insight
into the grief, joys and sorrows of the people living in the city. I have seen Lamborghinis passing by footpaths with people living on them –
breathing, eating, working and sleeping.
The breeze that hits an outsider to the city on entering
the boundary is equivalent to a high that can keep them going for days. There
is no time limit to when you should go home and no compulsion to sit outside with
friends after daylight hours, scared of the cops. No one is judging who you
are, who you hang out with or where you hang out at. Best thing is that nobody
gives a rat’s ass if you’re hanging out alone. People who are not from the city
find it disturbing; I feel that they are too insecure to be by themselves even
for a bit.
I miss my hometown at times, for the very few luxuries
and memories that it offers. But I’m glad that I don’t have to be there all the
time, as independence can never find you when you’re covered in pamper sauce.
