Friday, March 16, 2018

Cushioned

She held on to her words with a sense of numb relief. The relief that she wouldn’t have to take the brunt of his words that overpowered her warm, snuggly self. She rose from her chair and began walking toward the door, gasping for air that she did not share with him.

Don’t get me wrong, he was not the reason for her plight. His innate magnetism would charm anyone in the room without a miss, to the extent that even she swung from end-to-end before falling into his arms.

So what was that speck of doubt she had in her mind? Well, let’s just say that she was not conditioned to fall in love like the other people in her life. Everyone falls in love differently. She was unmistakably nonchalant for an audience that really wanted to sway with her every move. Hold her, but only for the support she would give back. Smile at her, but only with lies on their lips. Love her, but only for the wisdom she would spell out.

Feeling sorry for her yet? Don’t. She doesn’t.

Then what made her move from this amazing self to a breathless baboon in seconds? Was it something that had been inside her all along? She possibly let go of those grey areas from her healing book, but who was to say new greys didn’t grow?

After all, her life had been several shades of darkness before a few stripes of yellow, red, blue and green showed up. Heck, she even pulled off the darkness with class. Imagine what she would do with those damned colors.

She finally reached the door and dove right into a free space of utter indifference. A firm believer of her ruminations, how could she be held responsible for what gets tuned into her vivacious brain? On normal days, it would just make some fine moves to receive an applause from souls similar to hers, and make them less deserving souls cringe from an insight into their own flaws.

She just wanted to let go of the darkness that resided in her eyes to pave a new path of indifference that would cushion her positivity around and within herself. 

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